Oh man, I wonder if this movie was as cringeworthy to make, as it is to watch. I mean, they literally copied a scene from X-Men (as if we wouldn’t notice, right). Shamelessly capitalizing on Nathan Jones’ fame from Mad Max: Fury Road while looking for an excuse to make the actor show off his karate/jujitsu/flying monkey/crouching tiger hidden dragon levels of Kung Fu and dance. I’m so traumatized I cannot even say his name. Tige.. Ti.. See? Shoddy VFX and even shoddier writing (I mean, I wasn’t expecting Seabiscuit, but come on!) This movie represents everything wrong with Bollywood today. Note to self: Never get excited for a movie till you actually see it and you are satisfied the popcorn didn’t give you food poisoning (or gas).
As I sat in my middle row seat alone, an old man sitting next to me asked me, are you here alone? I said that I was. Seeing him all alone as well, I asked him was he in the same boat? To which wise old Gandalf the Grey said yes, and then he dropped a truth bomb, he said, I don’t know why anyone else would watch this movie, unless they didn’t have anything else to do. Spot on, uncleji. Spot on.
A Flying Jatt (shouldn’t there be a “The” in there? Is it A Superman or The?) is a movie that sounds good on paper. In fact, I can imagine the conversation the director must have had with the writer:
D: So, what do you have?
W: Sir, yeh superhero film hain, (name withheld due to copyright), ispe banate hain. (Sir, this is a superhero film, let’s do something like it.).
D: Do din main script warna naya kaam dhund lo (Script in two days or find a new job).
W: Okay, sir.
Plot holes, bro. Plot holes the size of a black hole. Plot holes galore! Where do I begin? The story here is non-existent, the only aim being showcasing the actors ability to dance and spin nun chucks. Ugh. There are entire scenes in here, lifted directly off our friends halfway across the world.
Don’t get me wrong, Hollywood is no better, but at least they’re trying to kill beloved franchises by trying to reboot them (looking at you Columbia, you just had to kill Ghostbusters, didn’t you?)
But here? It’s like we’re not even trying. Everyone knows Tiger Shroff can “Move like a dream” (direct quote off someone I know, so thank you) but what we have wanted to know for the past three movies is, can he act? Nope. Not with the projects he is taking on. Dude, you need to take something challenging. Act. Everyone knows you are like this Shaolin Master who can punch me so bad I end up eating out of a straw (Try, but your Shaolin Fist is no match for my Lazy Hippo) but we want to see you play with your weakness, not play to your strengths. Try picking up projects more carefully next time, bro.
Someone saw Mad Max: Fury Road and decided that Nathan Jones would make a good villain (dressed like Bane from TDKR). They forgot one very important thing though. There’s a reason why Jones is depicted in every scene where he lets his machine gun do the talking. See, this is my main problem with this movie. Everyone is miscast. Like, literally everyone. Jones does his bit, fails. And what is up with KK Menon’s tie? Did they think it looked cool? It was made of plastic. (I wish I was kidding here). Jacqueline Fernandez looks cool, but has little else to do.
Again, so many plot holes. No one expects a high and mighty script, but come on. And the scenes are directly lifted! The worst part came, not from the movie but from a bunch of sixteen year olds who were laughing at the movie because it was so bad. This movie may very well end being played at those festivals that only screen “good” bad movies (movies that are so bad they are good). Give this one a pass, unless you have absolutely nothing better to do. (like, live your life or something)
Oh, you’re still here? What, perhaps you’re expecting me to apologize for my beat pe booty video? Well, not happening. That whole thirty or so second video had more story than the first half of A Flying Jatt. Besides, we all look fly in it, so let us have this. Think of it as recompense for this review.
See you next Friday with the low-down. This is your boy, your servant, your film wine taster Vedant, signing off.